Back to work? A review of my #mumskills

Today I had one of those days where…I think about updating my CV and looking for a job. It happens occasionally. The boss (child/ren) annoy me so I think, “right I’ll get a new job, where people actually respect me and don’t throw my work (dinner) in the air or make me escort them to the toilet and…

I Have A Teething Baby

Parenting Poetry #1 I have a teething baby She’s been teething for a decade – no, a day A day of crying, snot and dribble A day of still teething? No flipping way! It’s worse first thing in the morning At night, tea-time and noon It’s definitely bad at dinner Because she won’t feed from…

Why mums need to date each other

Date nights seem to be the holy grail of parental freedom to us these days, especially if my husband and I go to a restaurant together: delicious food served hot, no need to take one child to the toilet umpteen times whilst squeezing the other one into a highchair and fishing food off the floor…

2017: The Only Thing New is the Number

So it turns out my children didn’t make New Year’s resolutions. Everyone else has: everyone is starting afresh, discarding 2016 like a used nappy and embracing 2017 like a spontaneous night out with a free bar. I first thought I didn’t have high expectations of today; but in hindsight I did. By not drinking much…

How to survive a toddler sickness bug

Accept that the next few days are going to be shit. In both senses of the word.   Stock up on the following for the ill child: diarolyte (it’s disgusting mummy, disgusting!!) failing that –> squash; jelly; lollipops (getting any fluids down them in the sneakiest way possible), crips (salt replacement) and calpol (the saviour).  …

A Mother’s Thoughts on Children’s Parties

The other day I found myself having a bit of a rant about children’s parties: “I can’t believe the pressure on school age children to have these over-the-top parties, they cost parents a fortune and so much stress! I won’t succumb to this modern tradition. What’s wrong with a few close, well-behaved friends over to…

Mama in the club

After 9 months of pregnancy and an additional 6 months of caring for a newborn, there is nothing quite so exciting for a mum, as a night out or any social event involving no children and available alcohol. It is a recipe for pure, blissful, mum madness. You might have experienced mum madness this summer:…

How did I become a mum cliché?!

In the last two and a bit years I have witnessed myself change dramatically. I don’t mean a personality transplant or a shed load of weight loss. Characteristics that I have always had have simply become stronger; and any parts  of me that were pretending to be something else have taken a step backstage. I have…

A Mother’s Quest for Sleep

“Make the most of your sleep” my work colleagues said to me, before I left for maternity leave. “My one tip for you” said my friend, already tired and graced with two children, “sleep now. Sleep as much as you can. Binge on it. Lie in every single day. Go to bed early. Take naps.…